What might have been

Let me preface this by saying I'm not suicidal or homicidal. I just needed to get some things off my chest since I can't afford a shrink.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what my life would be like if my past had been different. Just thinking about the coming school year and the struggles that are already starting, makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I have to find a job soon but I don't know that I can trust Josh to stay home & out of trouble while I'm at work. Also, how many hours will we spend each night fighting over homework that he doesn't want to do?

I want to cry just thinking about it. I only have 1 kid to deal with. It shouldn't be so hard for him to just do what he is supposed to, be truthful & stop being an ass!

I just want things to work out and for the hassles to decrease for a change. I sure hope the 7 months of unemployment wasn't my rest period because that was not restful at all.

I just want some peace & cooperation.

Far be it from me to stop you from ruining your life, I'm only your mother!

3rd week of school and the inevitable has happened. I got an email from one of Josh's teachers because he is failing to do his work. I should have expected it but I'm extremely disappointed. I've had several conversations with him about being truthful with me and not lying about anything. Apparently, that means nothing. Lying is one thing that I absolutely cannot tolerate and my son has been lying to me every friggin' day!

Every day I ask if he has homework and he says NO. I even check his agenda and his backpack to make sure there aren't things he has "forgotten" about and there is never anything in there but the occasional graded paper. This means that he's purposely omitting his assignments from his agenda so I won't know that he's not doing his work until it's too late! This must stop right now! I'm so sick of spending every school year, checking his grades online, digging through his pockets and backpack, looking for homework that just isn't there. I don't know what he is doing with it but he's NOT bringing it home.

I don't understand why anyone would want to fail simply because they didn't try. That is probably my 2nd biggest pet peeve...people that don't even try. Being lazy about something that is so simple really makes me angry.

At what point do you say "If you want to ruin your life, be a moron, flunk out of school and live on welfare forever...that's your problem". I don't know how much more of this I can take. If things don't change soon, something drastic may have to happen. Anyone know any good military schools? I'm not kidding! :(