Smoke & Mirrors

The meeting that was supposed to happen with my boss and coworker...never did. It wasn't even mentioned but my coworker was in the bosses office after 5pm gushing about something.

Instead, I was given a new task of sitting on an hour long conference call 3 times a week. I'm assuming she thinks I have too much free time so she wants to help me fill my day so I can't do any more damage.

It's almost comical now but I'm getting tired of the way things are being handled. Guess it's time to stop trying to do anything more than my basic job. Keep my head down and my mouth shut.

That's gonna be a challenge! :0)

Frustrating day

Not sure why today seemed so much worse than any other. Maybe I was just tired but everything seemed to make me irritable today.

Or perhaps it's just that people were being extraordinarily dense today. Felt like I was dealing with a few children, some idiots & several micromanagers.

Just leave me alone & let me do ky job. And stop making a big deal out of little mistakes. I'm busy fixing some huge mistakes previous employees made...cut me some slack.

Need a long, uninterrupted sleep tonight.

Day 4 - Almost given up!

It's day 4 of the week that I was supposed to hear something about the job. We are coming up on a 3 day weekend so if I don't hear something today it won't happen until at least Tuesday 9/6/11.

I think if I don't hear anything today I'm going to set up an appointment to talk to Harrison College and see about getting into the next group of classes that start 9/26/11.

Still not sure about my major but I'm thinking accounting...there always seem to be openings that need that sort of experience. We'll see what happens.

I just hope the HR lady didn't go into labor and lose all our information. She was very pregnant about a month ago during my first interview. It would be just my luck that she went into labor on Monday so nothing could be done this week! :)

Day 2-Still no news

I know I shouldn't stress about it but I can't stop. They were supposed to start making calls yesterday and they had less than 25 interviews the first round so there should have been less this time.

I can't help but be anxious. This is the most promising lead I've had and if I don't get this job I'm going to have to change my plans for the future. Just not sure what to do but something has to change soon.

Maybe they'll call tomorrow. :)

8 months wasted?

Today is the first day of what could, potentially, be a new road in my life. You may know that I lost my job in January and have been looking for one ever since. Been having a hard time even getting interviews but not really sure why. I think I fall in between what employers think they want...12 years of experience but no college degree so people won't even give me a second thought.

Posted for a job at a company where a previous co-worker is employed and got an interview because she put in a good word for me. Luckily, I also managed to get a 2nd interview last week. I thought both went well even though I was very nervous at the beginning of both. It's hard to get back into the interview process when you haven't done one in 12 years. I feel like I'm a little rusty. :)

Anyway, interviews were to be completed Monday and calls to be made Tuesday or Wednesday. I haven't heard back yet. I know it's just the first day but I have placed all my hope in this one position because it's one of the 2 that have been promising in the 8 months that I've been looking. If I don't get this, I'm pretty sure there will be tears and self loathing while I try to determine what I did that was so wrong to prevent me from getting an offer.

The next thing I have to consider is what I'm going to do if I don't get this job. Obviously, I'll have to keep looking but I may be at a point where I have no choice but to go back to school to get that degree that employers are apparently so concerned about. Now, what should I study?

It will have to be something I can do online because unemployment won't last forever and I have a kid and household to support. I was thinking about accounting. There always seem to be jobs that require this sort of degree and I like numbers, even if I'm not all that good with them. Maybe going to school for it would be a good thing and accounting degrees could be general enough to carry over to other job areas too, right?

I just don't know...of course, it all depends on the financial aid. I can't afford to pay anything so if I can't get enough financial aid to pay for it 100% + books I can't do it! I hope I didn't waste the last 8 months when I could/should have been going to school. Just not sure what to do!

What might have been

Let me preface this by saying I'm not suicidal or homicidal. I just needed to get some things off my chest since I can't afford a shrink.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what my life would be like if my past had been different. Just thinking about the coming school year and the struggles that are already starting, makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I have to find a job soon but I don't know that I can trust Josh to stay home & out of trouble while I'm at work. Also, how many hours will we spend each night fighting over homework that he doesn't want to do?

I want to cry just thinking about it. I only have 1 kid to deal with. It shouldn't be so hard for him to just do what he is supposed to, be truthful & stop being an ass!

I just want things to work out and for the hassles to decrease for a change. I sure hope the 7 months of unemployment wasn't my rest period because that was not restful at all.

I just want some peace & cooperation.