Kids these days

Dear parents of teens,
Do you have any idea what your kids are doing online? Do you monitor their social media accounts? Do you know their passwords so you can control what they are doing?

Think this is an invasion of their privacy? Tough...until they grow up and move out, they shouldn't assume they have the right to any privacy at all.

It's pretty easy to identify a kid with parents that don't monitor their online activities. They post provocative pictures of themselves, curse & talk about doing drugs & having sex.

It's clear their parents let them surf the web unchecked. It's possible 90% of their posts are pure fiction...published to make themselves appear more interesting than they really are. But...how do you really know?

Seems too many parents take the "what I don't know won't hurt me" approach. Thinking that there won't be any problems if they ignore the signs.

Had a conversation with Josh about some of the things I've seen posted online in the last few weeks. He then had a talk with one of the girls because she was making jokes about rape. Seriously?!??!?!?!?! Where are the parents these days?

Pay attention, control your kids & be involved...before something bad happens!

Parental Bargaining...and a little bribery!

Josh wants a smart phone. I know, what teen doesn't. I have no issues with him having one; however, he has "broken" at least 6 cell phones in the last few years and he is out of upgrades. Now, when I say broken I mean they have non-functioning screens, loose hinges or they've been taken swimming. Basically, he's very hard on his phones and he has yet to learn how to take care of things. It's finally time he learned some responsibility and priorities.

I found a phone that we can both agree on; however, I refuse to buy it "for no reason" so he has to wait until at least Christmas. I figured that gives him several months to prove to me that he is able to take care of it, among other things, and be responsible in other areas (school).

We are making an official chore chart, establishing a weekly allowance if things are met and he must improve his grades. Shouldn't be hard since he's at a D or below in almost everything already. All because he doesn't want to do his homework! Why is it so hard to understand that homework must be done and that it's not that big of a deal?

Heck, I'll even help but he's got to tell me what he has and actually try. Guess we'll see how this goes and if he actually earns his new phone at Christmas time. I hope he can get some motivation and I hope I can stand my ground and not give in because he decides to throw a fit. Unfortunately, I do that alot...I know it's one of my flaws but I'm trying to correct it.

What might have been

Let me preface this by saying I'm not suicidal or homicidal. I just needed to get some things off my chest since I can't afford a shrink.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what my life would be like if my past had been different. Just thinking about the coming school year and the struggles that are already starting, makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I have to find a job soon but I don't know that I can trust Josh to stay home & out of trouble while I'm at work. Also, how many hours will we spend each night fighting over homework that he doesn't want to do?

I want to cry just thinking about it. I only have 1 kid to deal with. It shouldn't be so hard for him to just do what he is supposed to, be truthful & stop being an ass!

I just want things to work out and for the hassles to decrease for a change. I sure hope the 7 months of unemployment wasn't my rest period because that was not restful at all.

I just want some peace & cooperation.

It didn't last long

Less than 2 weeks into the new school year and Josh has already gotten into a fight. He said some kid was hitting him in the crotch so he retaliated by putting him in a headlock. I guess I'd do the same thing if I was in his position but this crap is really getting old. I don't believe for a second that he was an innocent in this situation. I'm sure he was mouthing off about something and instigated the attack he received.

I swear that if he gets suspended I may just kick his ass up and down the street. We ended last year with a 2 week expulsion. I do not want to start the year off that way. Wonder how much military school costs now?

I hate children...

Seriously, there have been times in the last couple weeks that I have felt that way and had the intense urge to strangle some of them. I used to think that my son (13) was the most ill-mannered, rude child in the neighborhood. This past week, he has appeared (almost) saint-like compared to some of the hooligans that live here.

These kids have no respect for anyone else or their property and are allowed to roam the neighborhood until 1am or later. I can't count the number of red juice stains that I've found on my counters, carpets, etc. Josh's toys always seem to get broken when the other kids are here. They leave electronics and other breakable items laying all over the floor. And they leave the door standing open when the A/C is running. I even put a sign on the door and they still don't close it.

This morning, one of them egged my house because he was mad at Josh. This afternoon, they tried to convince me to take 7-8 people in the back of my car that only carries 5. They swore they would all hide in the back. We aren't going anywhere unless everyone is buckled. Tonight, a group of them came looking for Josh close to 10pm. They knocked once, twice, three times...then opened the screen door and started banging on the glass. If I'd been asleep I would have gone even more ballistic on them than I did.

Seriously, if you knock twice and the door isn't answered, GO AWAY! Especially when all the lights are off. You rude, inconsiderate piece of...sorry! I'm still extremely irritated at how they have behaved today and I'm about to ban them from the house entirely. I don't know how much more I can take.

The apple doesn't fall...Lord Help Me!

My child has been doomed from the start. With only me as a parental influence, he has picked up all of my crazy habits and more. Anyone that has known me for any length of time knows that I have a strange sense of humor and I often say things without truly thinking.

Josh shares my love of laughter and is working on improving his comedic timing. He never fails to make me laugh but some times he fails to ensure the surroundings and audience are appropriate. He can recite just about every line from any Jim Carey movie and knows the comedy routines of Tim Hawkins and Jeff Dunham verbatim. He's even mastered the voices and facial expressions in many scenarios. It's a bit scary at times. He does this one (Subway), including the moves, perfectly!

Of late, he has been more "body concious" and today he asked me if a mani-pedi was something that had to do with a mans private parts. He didn't word it quite that delicately but, you get the point. I'm thankful he feels able to speak freely to me but somethings...I just don't want to know. Frankly, I could have gone my whole life without him ever knowing what other purposes his penis was created for. :)

Instead, I'm already having talks about sex, girls and body hair. Heck, we were talking about body hair when he was 10.
<----- Thank goodness he hasn't progressed to this point yet. I pray he never does or we will be having the "waxing" conversation as well.

Yesterday, he decided to shave (apparently to impress a girl) and I got the pleasure of watching his reaction the first time he applied aftershave. It.was.hilarious!

There are many times that make me question my sanity and my abilities as a parent but then he throws out a "skit" or impression that makes me laugh so hard I could cry. Although crying is a normal emotion when you are raising teenagers, is it not?

Guess I'll keep plugging along and hope for more of these moments of hilarity! They are much more fun than some of the "other" stuff!

Bringing Up B_______

Babies, Boys, Brats, other B words come to mind...Josh has been each of these things. Some of them more than others. I'll let you guess which. Right now we are in the battle of extra-curricular activities.

Josh has been talking for months about joining the football team at North. We went to the initial meeting, we participated in the fundraiser but I could not get him to go to any of the workouts or fundamentals sessions. Every time one would come up he would be excited to go and then change his mind at the last minute. And I mean "last minute"...once we were actually standing by the door of the gym 5 minutes before the session started.

I've been trying to get a clear idea of what he wants to do because I want him to be involved and I think sports would be a good place for him to learn teamwork and discipline but I don't want to force him to do something that he isn't going to enjoy. There is no sense in forcing him to do something that will make us both miserable in the long run.

Tomorrow is the last fundamentals session and if he misses that he just can't play football...at least in my mind. He hasn't shown any interest in being part of the team so I don't think it's fair for him to just show up when practices start and expect to be on the team.

He said maybe he would play basketball instead but I think that's a stalling tactic because it won't start til later in the school year and he won't have to deal with the commitment right now. I think he's also worried about getting good enough grades to play sports. He's always had a really rough time in school and struggles greatly with his ADD (even on meds) so his grades are always poor. He also said he doesn't want to play with the 7th graders because they are so little...which is true. He's actually bigger than most of the high school players we saw...and some of the coaches! LOL

He has asked me on several occasions which sport I would like for him to play and I'm not sure I answered correctly. I told him that he had to make that decision because he had to do what he liked the best. Maybe I should have told him that he needs to play football and that he was going whether he liked it or not.

What is the best approach? I don't want to force him to do something but I don't want him to not play because he's scared and then regret it later. He's only in the 7th grade so he still has time to play later but I just worry about making the right decision.

I have mixed emotions. He's big for his age and football is probably the sport his build is most suited for. I'd love to see him excel & have something to be proud of. However, I'm also very concerned about the physical aspect of the sport and would constantly be paranoid that he would hurt himself, get overheated, etc. I went to school with a boy that had a serious injury after playing football and has been partially paralyzed and brain damaged since high school. I'm not gonna lie, that scares me to death. It's also a bonus that I won't have to worry about how to get him to practices and games during football season. Nor will I have to sit outside in bad weather to watch him play.

Being a parent is so tough, especially during the teen years. You think your child is self confident and well adjusted but some times you find out they are really scared and insecure and it's so hard to see that. It makes me question the things I have done as I've raised him by myself. He didn't have a father figure but I imagine I am more masculine than my ex-husband ever was...he'd probably agree!  LOL

I just hope I'm doing this right and that he doesn't turn out to be a felon.