Tuesday, December 24, 2013

I think I've lost my mojo

I used to have all sorts of interesting things to say (at least in my own mind). But lately, I can't really think of much to say. It's really rather sad because I used to have opinions on nearly everything. Now, I just do not really care.

Must. Get. Mojo. Back

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Christmas 2013

It's my own decisions that have caused this Christmas to be less than stellar but I'm trying not to let it get to me. Josh is ok with no gifts under the tree since he got the big thing he wanted but I can't help but hate the way things turned out.

A. I spent way more than planned for the 2 things Josh wanted...
Which means...
B. I don't have money to buy gifts for anyone else
C. I didn't do the Angel Tree gifts this year

Just feeling bummed but guess I have to move on and get over it. That's what being an adult is about, right?

Saturday, November 9, 2013

The state of things

I miss being able to buy something just because I want it. Heck, I miss being able to buy something because I NEED it. I just want to have some spending money left over each week but it's just not happening.

It's going to get worse in January when I start paying over $200/month for insurance that I have had for 2 years. Just don't know how this is going to work. Even with 2 jobs things are going to be tight and I hate it.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Ethnic Halloween costumes make me racist?

Wow, so I apparently opened up a huge can of worms by saying that I didn't think ethnic halloween costumes were racist as long as the wearer wasn't portraying the character in a demeaning light. If you want to see more, go to the Ask A Manager page. My comment is the 2nd on this post and I'm being attacked in a mass number of posts after. I was even called a "smug twit"! LOL

I love the post that basically calls me a racist for being accepting of the situation. People can stretch anything to make a scandal and I'm so sick of all the intolerance. I knew there were people that had strong opinions and probably wouldn't agree but I had no idea that they all read this Ask A Manager blog!

I guess if we want to be fair then we should not allow "non-white" people to buy costumes that portray white people as that could be considered "reverse racism". And what the heck is reverse racism anyway? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
There are always going to be people that hate you based on your race, sex, education, etc. Who cares? Let them hate, that is their problem and unless they act on it, it has nothing to do with you directly.
Stop giving power to those that want to be hate mongers, including the folks that felt the need to attack me for posting my opinion, which is what the website owner asked for.
Freedom of speech, but only if you agree with what the majority of the public think, eh?
Well, that's not how I live so if you don't like my opinion...move on! I'm not hurting you, I'm not defaming anyone and I'm not speaking ill of any other person, race or gender. Get over yourselves and find something to do that will actually benefit the world...instead of spreading more hate.

Friday, September 20, 2013

New downtown hotel would save The Centre?

Marsha Abell says that not opening a new downtown hotel would cause The Centre to close down. We already have 2 other hotels downtown and there's not that much happening down there. I don't see how they can blame The Centre shut down on the hotel. Maybe they should plan some better events for The Centre so it's used more often, and for local events.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Driving in the "ghetto"

Josh and I like to drive around town, listening to the radio and people watching. He recently asked why we always drive around in the "ghetto".

I always thought it was because it's the neighborhood where I grew up so it was familiar but I now realize that it's also because it makes me feel better about myself. Not that I'm better than anyone that lives there now but I feel like I've moved up, slightly, and am in a better place.

When we drive around other neighborhoods I get depressed because I feel like those people have done so much better in life and are more successful. That might not be the case but that is my perception and it makes me feel like a failure to drive by nice homes that I know I will never be able to afford.

Insecurities suck and I'm trying to deal with them but I have to acknowledge the weakness before I can overcome it.

Can we go back in time?

When I listen to the 80'd & 90's stations on Sirius satellite radio I'm transported back to the good old days. The days that I would have classified as "hell" at the time but would kill to relive now. Why do we never realize what we have until it's gone?

Things were so much simpler then. We rode bikes, played outside and the sun going down was our reminder to come home. We weren't absorbed by our electronics, or even the TV, because we knew our neighbors and we played together.

We played flashlight tag, basketball & took time to swing at the playground. We ran through cornfields, caught fireflies & collected locust shells.

Other parents watched out for your kids and you didn't have to worry about tracking your child's whereabouts via an app on their smartphone.

We've come so far but have we gone overboard? We've become so dependent on electronics and we no longer enjoy the world around us.

I wish we could go back and enjoy life again.

Friday, September 13, 2013

My cat is crazy

Just came home to find the cat, Monster, banging his head on the bedroom door in an attempt to get out. Immediately following each thump on the door I heard a meow that actually sounded more like a human "Ow". I wish I could get a decent recording because it's kind of eery and super creepy.

It's really too bad I can't trust him to stay off the counters and Sweetie to stay out of the litter box when I'm gone. If they'd behave, I wouldn't have to put them on "lock down" so much.

May have to give up coffee...

3 times this week I have dozed off and spilled hot coffee...in my lap. That's definitely one way to wake yourself up but it's not really recommended. It's also bad for the furniture...thank goodness we have a (fake) leather couch.

I just can't help it and the coffee doesn't really help you wake me up, I just like to drink it. It's my time to relax, watch some TV and drink a hot beverage before the day starts. Too bad my mind won't stay awake long enough to finish one cup at a time.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'll just start wearing a wetsuit to drink coffee.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

No such thing as a hate crime

Why do we classify certain crimes as hate crimes and assign a harsher punishment than others? I'd say there's a good chance that anyone that commits a crime has hate inside them so why are we sentencing to the intent and not the crime? We need more consistency in our punishments and murder is murder, no matter what your age, race or gender.

It's not really fair to classify a crime against a non-white person as any worse than another.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Still feeling regret

I'm so tired of being broke within 2 days of payday and constantly explaining to Josh why we can't do or have things.

I'm tired of working 2 jobs and still barely making ends meet when I could be in a much more comfortable position if I'd just moved to Cincinnati when my job transferred.

It sucks living this way and always wondering "what if"!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Life (kinda) sucks right now...

I'll admit that there are times, lately, when I see my facebook friends post about how great things are going and I get jealous. Wondering when this hellish chapter post-CMC is going to get better. Oh, it's not horrible. We aren't homeless, we can pay the bills (sort of)...it's just not what I'd hoped it would be and doesn't seem to be getting any better.

I had hoped that, at 37 years of age, I was beyond having to work 2 jobs just to make ends meet and still being broke within 2 days of pay day. I know what's causing it but the only way to resolve that issue is to get rid of Josh. I just can't afford him. Heck, I never really could and that is why I'm in this position.

Of course, losing 50% of my income when I was laid off didn't help at all but I was so sure I was going to be able to find a better job with more money by now. It's humbling to find that you really aren't what people are looking for, even with experience and endorsement from people that are high up in their company.

I'm back in the dredges and don't really like it. Actually, I wouldn't mind my job if the percentage of the company that sucks at theirs wasn't so high. It's like it's acceptable to be mediocre and there is nobody to address and correct problems when they happen.

"You didn't bother to look at the forecast for the next 2 months and now we've been late on every order for the last year because you don't know how to appropriately hire people to cover the demand? That's ok, no need to discipline you...you're human. We'll just let you keep on making this mistake so we can never dig out of this hole. Never mind all the customers and business that we are losing. It's not a big deal."

Seriously, that is the mentality. At least that's how it appears to those of us that are directly impacted by the late orders and horrible service.

Sunday, July 7, 2013


I can't help but wonder why the genes of my ex husband became the dominant genes that are exhibited by my 15 year old son. He hasn't been around him for 10 years yet he acts more like him each day. He's completely lazy and blames others for everything that goes wrong. He's extremely short tempered and flat out refuses anything that could make life better or is suggested by others.

Wait, that's not my ex...that's just my kid being a douche bag! Sounds bad to call him that but there are times when that is the only word that I can think of that adequately describes how big of a jerk he is.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Not sure this is the right thing...

I've completed day 2 of the paper delivery gig and I'm just not sure. While it seems fine now, I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to keep up with a 1:30am daily wake up when I still have to work til 5pm and then make time for Josh too. He's been good about it so far but I'm already feeling really worn down. Maybe I'll get used to it after a few more days. Tomorrow will be the first day I have to do both jobs on the same day so that may be the ultimate test.

Right now, I've got the current guy with me to tell me where houses are so I don't miss anything but it's really hard to keep track of which houses get papers when you are focusing all your attention on trying to find the #'s that are nearly invisible on the buildings. Not to mention that the current carrier doesn't follow the schedule that was created by C&P so we're not going the route that I would normally take...until I get used to it.

Really would like to just be able to go on my own so I can figure it out in my own head....oh, and get paid for it, since I don't get paid til I take over the route on my own.

What really concerns me is the wear on my car and the amount of gas that I'm going to use up. Just during the trip this morning I used about 1/4 tank of gas so if I have to do this every day, it may not even pay to do a route for only $600+ a month. I guess we'll see and if it puts me in the hole I'm going to have to either get a smaller car or quit.

I'm conflicted because I don't think I'll be able to find anything else that works around my current work schedule like this. Just not sure what is right and I'm tired of making decisions that turn out to be wrong in the long run.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Making ends meet

For various reasons, in & out of my control, I'm super overextended with my finances. Tomorrow at 2am I'm going to start training for a 2nd job delivering papers. It's not a ton more money but the routes that pay more go to the tenured folks so I've got to start somewhere.

In addition, it's about the only thing that works around my full time job and doesn't take me away from my son during his evening hours. Hopefully, I can do this in the early morning before he's awake and still have evenings free to spend with him.

Problem could be sleep. If I don't go to bed til 9 or 10 like usual and have to pick up papers at 2am I'm getting very little sleep. Hope I can do it!

Still want to be able to hit the gym in the mornings so I hope I can get fast at the route in a short matter of time and get it all done quickly.

Thursday, May 23, 2013


I'm saddened by the decline is morals & work ethic these days. People don't seem to care about a job well done & give the impression of being overworked...when they clearly aren't.

I don't know where some of these people worked before but 40 emails a day is not considered excessive or unmanageable. Others get way more than that and don't waste time complaining about it.

I don't care if you want to complain about your job but just do it quietly because I don't want to hear it. :-)

Monday, May 6, 2013

I think I can honestly say...

I hate my job! It's harsh to say that and I can't think of any other place that I've worked where I would have truly said that I hate this place and would like to never set foot in the building again.

I have never worked for a company that is so terrible at what they do in almost every aspect yet refuses to change and still remains in business. We must be charging a lot less for our products that any other company does because there is no way I'd ever stay with a vendor when they performed as horribly as we do.

What's even worse is nobody wants to take responsibility for why this happened. You require us to place production orders 6-8+ weeks in advance. There is no reason why your scheduling team shouldn't have known way in advance that you had too many orders in the system to handle with your current work force. You could have done something way before now to resolve this issue so we wouldn't end up in the position.

I'm so sick of working for a company that sucks and doesn't seem to care that much about it. I think everyone is so beat down from dealing with it that nobody really cares anymore what is happening. They just show up to complete their shift and go home...there's no responsibility taken for anything and no follow through to ensure accuracy.

Heck, we're turning out orders 2 months late, we run them short and then the graphics are horrible or damaged once the customer finally gets the bags. It's a wonder we are in business at all! This is unacceptable and I really hope things change soon or I'll be looking elsewhere!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

My body is rebelling

My mind can't stand the thought of going to work & I think my body is in cahoots. Woke up so stiff & sore this morning... It hurts to breathe. Gonna be a long day dealing with crap that shouldn't have happened if people were doing their jobs.

Frustrating to be in a workforce that doesn't care about a job well done.

Monday, April 29, 2013

At the end of my rope

I'd consider myself a hard worker with a strong work ethic & the ability to work through any situation but I'm about to lose my mind working for a company that is so horrible at what they do with no accountability or attempts to improve.

Ideas are immediately shot down and met with hostile feedback while people who clearly can't do their job are allowed to continue unchecked.

I feel like I'm becoming one of those people I hate. The ones that don't care about their job or how well they do. I don't want to be that guy but I really can't stand this place.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Lazy or Brilliant?

Am I the only one that feels like people are getting lazy these days? I see daily reminders of people that jump to conclusions & complain about things before they bother to think or research the situation.

Far too many people assume they know all the details, yet they know nothing. I don't know why this makes me so crazy. I'm just tired of people expecting others to do all the work for them because they are too lazy to do a little research on their own.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Your employees have ideas...LISTEN!

I'm perplexed by the number of people that are completely opposed to change and/or new ideas.

Yes, we put a procedure in place a year ago. Many things have changed and the fact that you "find no value" in the suggestions that your employees have is unacceptable.

Even worse is the hostile attitude you give when your employees attempt to discuss it with you.

I have never been treated like this at any job...not even a minimum wage, fast food joint. I honestly don't know how people like this get to a position of leadership.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Maybe the prosecutor was right...

During the trial to find out if Josh could come home or go back to juvenile detention the prosecutor said they might as well just let him go home so his mother could ruin his life. I really feel like he was right. Josh has gone downhill ever since he came home. He's refusing to do anything that I ask, he won't clean up after himself and now he's refusing to go to the doctor or the dentist today! He won't do his school work and we don't want him to go back to school. I'm really wishing I could call the judge and tell them I was wrong and that he needs to be locked up. Clearly, he has no respect for me or himself and nothing I do is working. I'm seriously about to ship him to Colorado and let his dad deal with it. I've put up with this crap for long enough, let him have a turn at it. If I wasn't sure that he would end up even worse I might do it...heck, I might do it anyway! I'm sick of the fighting and if he doesn't want to live by any sort of rules, I'm pretty much done with his lazy ass!

What to do?

Josh's court cases were all closed and he's no longer on probation. I got all the stuff lined out to homeschool him til next year and now he wants to go back to school. I just don't know what to do. Having him stay home all day is doing nothing but make him bored & obnoxious but I don't want to end up back in the system again. I think I'll call the principal and set up a meeting to see what he thinks.

Parenting sucks!