This is such a hard one. Normally, I feel fortunate to have a roof over my head, a decent car, and a job to help pay for things. I try not to worry about what other people have because there are things that I will never be able to afford and it's not worth the time to wish for things that can never be. Lately, it's been a lot more difficult not to feel envious of others and what they have.
I often look at the happy pictures of friends online and wonder what they did so much better than me to enable them to have great jobs, extra money, vacations, well behaved children. :)
I don't want a huge house, I don't need a fancy sports car and I don't need to go on a European vacation several times a year. I just want to be able to afford to take Josh on a nice vacation once in a while. Something that doesn't require we drive and stay within a 4-6 hour radius of home. I'd love to have the peace of mind that comes from knowing you can afford to pay for repairs should something happen to your house, you get ill, etc.
It's those times when I see how happy and full the lives of others are when I wonder...what did I do so wrong to deserve to struggle like this? Was I such a horrible person over the last 35 years that I can't catch a break and have some security in my life?
I'm not a person prone to depressive thoughts but the last 7 months have been really hard and I'm ready for something good to happen. Even if it's just one thing right now...I'd settle for finding a decent job making enough money for us to live on. I just need someone to give me that chance.
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Thanks for stopping by. If you have feedback, please leave it. I may have strong feelings about things but I know that doesn't make them right...all the time. Give me your perspective but...be nice! I don't need a bunch of strangers being nutso in my life! :) Thanks