Deep thoughts at a funeral

It's no surprise that death makes you think about your own mortality. Sitting at my aunts funeral I began to think about my own funeral. It's only natural to think of such things at a time like this, right?

I just wondered, what would my family plan to "honor" my life? Would they pick flattering pictures of my life or just whatever they had available? I hate having my picture taken so there aren't many good shots of me out there.

Would they have a pastor come, quote bible verses and pray? Right now, I don't think I would want that. I'm at a point in my life where I'm not on the believers train. I'm not sure what I believe but I think a christian funeral might be a little awkward right now.

Will friends and family get up and talk about funny things I did, or how I impacted their life while I was alive? Then I wonder, have a really done anything worthy of such a speech? Maybe nobody will be able to think of anything good to say other than I was a hard worker. I guess that might be enough for some people but, it makes me think about what else I haven't done with my life so far.

I really need to start doing something worthwhile with my life...before it's too late and I don't even have enough of a life to fill up my obituary!

Love this idea for a headstone!

New Year 2012

Yes, I'm making resolutions for 2012.

Yes, I'll probably abandon most of them by March.

Going through the motions anyway. :)

1. Get healthy & lose weight again.

2. Be more positive.

3. Volunteer somewhere.

4. Stop wasting money.

That should be more than enough to keep me busy this year. Can't wait to see how well I do.

My Stalker

Amazingly, someone found my blog posts about the training concerns I had and sent it to my new boss. What is the most amazing in this story is that I'm pretty sure it is the social media "expert" at my new company. It can't be a coincidence that 2 weeks after I started following the company twitter account, my blog is accessed and reported...for something I posted over a month ago?

No, I don't believe in coincidence. The person that manages the company twitter account saw that I followed the company, got my blog address from my profile and decided to check it out.

No big deal, blog is now private, tweets are protected and the company twitter account has been blocked. So sad that I have to do that because people don't want me to express my opinion. I didn't even list names of people or the company! Sad, really!

Here goes nothing...

Tomorrow, I go to the doctor to discuss several issues with my health & get blood work done to check all my levels. It is my sincere hope that I can start over tomorrow and lose this weight...again. The stress level is making the weight hang on for dear life so I'm going to have to really find a way to relax more and eliminate the stress from my life.

A butter & chocolate diet for me!?

I've had arthritis since high school...brought on by my weekly volleyball games where I'd dive for any ball that was within 20 feet of me. I probably spent more time on my knees than a $2 hooker. :)

Anyway, at one point, I tore the cartilage in my knee and it's never quite been the same.

Lately, as my weight has yo yo'd up and down I've noticed that I've developed an occasional pain in my left big toe that makes it nearly impossible to even bend that toe. Forget about wearing heals, I can't get my foot in the correct position for that.

I've always suspected that I have gout, brought on by the extra weight that I carry. I'm pretty convinced of this because when I lost 90 pounds a few years ago, the pain went away.

Anyway, I've been doing some research and here is a list of foods that WebMD suggests to help deal with gout. The first few I can understand but how am I suppose to lose weight, as they suggest, if I'm eating butter, cheese, chocolate, sodas & peanut butter?

Foods that are safe to eat (low in purines):

• Green vegetables and tomatoes
• Fruits and fruit juices
• Breads and cereals that are not whole-grain
• Butter, buttermilk, cheese, and eggs
• Chocolate and cocoa
• Coffee, tea, and carbonated beverages
• Peanut butter and nuts

I'm totally ok with eating these items, the trick is to find that happy balance between calories and low purines. We'll see what we can do. A butter & chocolate diet it is! :)