I know I should be happy that we have a place to live and income to pay the bills but I'm really struggling to get out of this funk because it seems like everyone else has such a great life...and I don't.
Ever since I got laid off about 5 years ago, things have gone downhill. It took 9 months to find a job and my severance ran out before that so I was overextended on all my credit cards and never could catch up. Had to file for bankruptcy but I still don't feel like I'm ever going to get ahead...even working 2 jobs.
On top of the financial stress of being a single mom, my son has turned into one of those kids that I swore I'd never raise. He's selfish & lazy and insists on breaking every rule he can. Unfortunately, at 17 1/2 it's too late to "raise him right" so I'm constantly stressed about him.
Add in the fact that I'm not satisfied with either of my jobs & you may understand why I have fallen into a state of depression. It always seems like everyone else has something to celebrate when all I have are regrets. I know they say your attitude determines how happy your life will be buts it's pretty hard to be happy and upbeat when you feel like you're getting knocked down every step of the way. 1 step forward, 4 steps back.
I try not to get jealous of what my friends have but it's so hard to be happy for them when I can't even get a fraction of the joy that they seem to find in life. They have rewarding jobs. Children that did well in school & are driven to succeed. Decent homes, families & friends. I feel like I have none of that. My constant state of worry over my son, finances and mental state have given me ulcers & many sleepless nights.
I'm at the end of my rope & don't know where to go next.
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Thanks for stopping by. If you have feedback, please leave it. I may have strong feelings about things but I know that doesn't make them right...all the time. Give me your perspective but...be nice! I don't need a bunch of strangers being nutso in my life! :) Thanks