I used to love Christmas. Buying gifts, putting up decorations, festivities. Not this year. Funny how things change when you don't have any money.
The tree wouldn't even be up if I hadn't been too lazy to take it down last year.
This is the first year that there won't be any gifts under the tree. No surprises in the stockings. No joy on Christmas morning.
Just another day of the year where I'll be sitting at home doing nothing.
I got myself into this mess because of my own actions but it's super frustrating to be in a financial hole with no way out. I used to be able to buy gifts for family and still have money to donate to those without any gifts for Christmas. This year, we will be the ones with no Christmas.
I can barely afford to buy food, how can I justify spending money on non-essential items? I thought being an adult would be easier by now.
I'm 41 with 2 grown adults mooching off me, soon to have a grandchild that I'll have to support because nobody else can get a job. I don't know how we're going to do it.
I will never be able to move from this tiny 2 bedroom rental. I will never be able to take a vacation. I will never be able to retire. I've already had the best it'll be and that wasn't that great.
I hate the holidays and all the happiness that everyone else seems to enjoy.