Saturday, September 1, 2012

Work Compliments

I really don't know if the sales folks are all really that nice and appreciative or if they are periodically told to compliment the CSR team so we don't go AWOL on them. Yesterday, I had 3 different sales folks tell me how great a job I was doing.

I like getting that feedback but it's always awkward because I'm not sure how I should respond. I usually say thanks and try to change the subject because I hate talking about myself like that. I'm more of a "tell me if I messed up or let me just do my job" kind of employee. It's nice to get that positive feedback some times, though.

Struggles continue...

Josh has had a really rough week...even worse on me...and it's beginning to show in my physical health. I'm irritable at work, tired, my muscle spasms are back, etc.

I think it was Tuesday, Josh decided he wanted someone to spend the night on a school night and I said no. When he continued to ask, I continued to say no and he went ballistic. Throwing things, screaming in my face, cursing at me, etc. He never hit me but I wasn't sure that it wouldn't come to that.

Thursday morning, he claimed he was sick and couldn't go to school. He's already on probation for truancy so if he misses any more days, he could be taken away and placed in a boys school/home. I went to work and at 8:30am he decided that maybe it wasn't worth the risk, he was feeling miraculously better and I had to leave work to take him to school.

Friday he made it about 30 minutes before he got into a shoving match with another student, the cops were called and he was suspended for the rest of the day. All because some kid shoved a chair into his leg. Are you kidding me? What the hell is wrong with these kids today? Josh is no angel and he had no business getting freaked out about a chair hitting his leg but the other kids are constantly trying to get other kids riled up and cause a scene.

It will be interesting to see what his probation officer says. We have an appointment with the judge on the 10th to discuss his lack of participation in class and his lack of homework completion. He refuses to do anything at night and then acts like it's my fault that he "forgot" to do it when we leave the next morning.

I just don't know how much more of this I can take before I end up at my breaking point. I'm also worried about missing much more work. I've already blown through all my vacation time for other appointments and my boss has been pretty flexible up to this point but I cannot risk losing my job because he wants to live his life as a complete jackass.

I know it's not nice to call your kids names's the truth. Hoping for some fantastic options to fall into my lap so I know what to do. The court & school systems have been a total failure at actually helping. They have a board of psychologists that are supposed to help parents and teachers when students are struggling. I think it's pretty darn obvious that he's not having a easy time of this. Yet nobody has ever stepped in and said "we have some options that might help you". It's like pulling teeth and short of sending him to an inpatient mental facility, I don't know what else to do.

I need help...

Well, in more ways than one...but last week I decided I was going to apply for assistance. I was on Medicaid and WIC with Josh but haven't needed it since and I'm not too happy about being in this position. The worst part is, I'm pretty sure they are going to deny me because I "make too much money". Heck, they told me I "most likely didn't quality" when I was on unemployment.

I've got a phone "interview" tuesday so we'll see what they say. I applied for everything but I really just need health coverage for Josh. He needs to be able to see a psychologist and get some meds for his "mental" issues and I can't afford it right now.

Still kicking my own ass for not moving when my job was relocated. Seems like all the problems started when I started this newest job at Berry. Not that the company or job is to blame...the hours and such aren't any different than what I was working's just a coincidence, right?

Can't help but wonder how different things might be if we'd moved. Maybe it would have been a fresh start and Josh would have been better than he is now. If not, I would have had the extra money and insurance to take care of his "problems". Right now, I can barely pay the minimums, put gas in the car and food on the table.

Still can't figure out how I'm going to pay for school books since I'm scrambling to pay his lunch fees. Just have to get over this hump, stay calm and realize that he's old enough to make his own decisions. There's no reason why I should be shouldering all the blame for him being a royal jerk part of the time...right?