I know that children will eventually do things that disappoint their parents. What I didn't expect was a time when EVERY single action would throw me into an anxiety attack. I pray that someone can tell me a short bout of aggressiveness is normal for all teen boys & that it'll end quickly. Unfortunately, I doubt anyone will be able to give me any assurance that we'll both make it through this unscathed.
The timing couldn't have been much worse. 1 month into my new job & Josh has already been suspended from school twice, for a total of 9 days. Today was his first day back & I get a call that he's no longer allowed to ride the bus because of his behavior. How am I supposed to leave in the middle of the afternoon to pick him up?
Tomorrow I'm taking him to Crosspointe for counseling. I hope with all my being that we are able to find something that gets through to him. He doesn't even understand how many other people are impacted by his obnoxious behavior.
I'm at my wits end with him. I feel bad because I frequently feel like I wouldn't be upset if he were to move away & live with his dad or if he were to go away to boarding school. I don't like feeling that way but more and more often I wonder what would have happened if I'd never gone to Colorado, never gotten married, never had a child. How horrible that I have those thoughts...but I just can't help it!
I hope counseling will help us both.
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