Bringing Up B_______

Babies, Boys, Brats, other B words come to mind...Josh has been each of these things. Some of them more than others. I'll let you guess which. Right now we are in the battle of extra-curricular activities.

Josh has been talking for months about joining the football team at North. We went to the initial meeting, we participated in the fundraiser but I could not get him to go to any of the workouts or fundamentals sessions. Every time one would come up he would be excited to go and then change his mind at the last minute. And I mean "last minute"...once we were actually standing by the door of the gym 5 minutes before the session started.

I've been trying to get a clear idea of what he wants to do because I want him to be involved and I think sports would be a good place for him to learn teamwork and discipline but I don't want to force him to do something that he isn't going to enjoy. There is no sense in forcing him to do something that will make us both miserable in the long run.

Tomorrow is the last fundamentals session and if he misses that he just can't play football...at least in my mind. He hasn't shown any interest in being part of the team so I don't think it's fair for him to just show up when practices start and expect to be on the team.

He said maybe he would play basketball instead but I think that's a stalling tactic because it won't start til later in the school year and he won't have to deal with the commitment right now. I think he's also worried about getting good enough grades to play sports. He's always had a really rough time in school and struggles greatly with his ADD (even on meds) so his grades are always poor. He also said he doesn't want to play with the 7th graders because they are so little...which is true. He's actually bigger than most of the high school players we saw...and some of the coaches! LOL

He has asked me on several occasions which sport I would like for him to play and I'm not sure I answered correctly. I told him that he had to make that decision because he had to do what he liked the best. Maybe I should have told him that he needs to play football and that he was going whether he liked it or not.

What is the best approach? I don't want to force him to do something but I don't want him to not play because he's scared and then regret it later. He's only in the 7th grade so he still has time to play later but I just worry about making the right decision.

I have mixed emotions. He's big for his age and football is probably the sport his build is most suited for. I'd love to see him excel & have something to be proud of. However, I'm also very concerned about the physical aspect of the sport and would constantly be paranoid that he would hurt himself, get overheated, etc. I went to school with a boy that had a serious injury after playing football and has been partially paralyzed and brain damaged since high school. I'm not gonna lie, that scares me to death. It's also a bonus that I won't have to worry about how to get him to practices and games during football season. Nor will I have to sit outside in bad weather to watch him play.

Being a parent is so tough, especially during the teen years. You think your child is self confident and well adjusted but some times you find out they are really scared and insecure and it's so hard to see that. It makes me question the things I have done as I've raised him by myself. He didn't have a father figure but I imagine I am more masculine than my ex-husband ever was...he'd probably agree!  LOL

I just hope I'm doing this right and that he doesn't turn out to be a felon.